Divorce Confidential

Important FamilyLaw DON’Ts!

Don't miss this Divorce Confidential drop! This week Michelle and Amy met with Seattle attorney Ellery Johannessen of Johannessen Law PLLC to discuss important family law DON'Ts, valuing real estate in divorce cases, and Ellery and Michelle's current case involving a local celebrity and sex trafficking. So much in this episode! 

 

Ellery is an east coast transplant and owner of a small firm in West Seattle.  His career has seen a steady blend of family and civil litigation, and his current practice features both of those areas.  His wife Stephanie also works with him doing estate planning. You can reach out to Ellery and connect with him by visiting Johannessen Law PLLC online here or emailing ellery@eaj-law.com

Big Mistakes Divorce Lawyers Often Make with Real Property and Divorce

Don’t miss this Divorce Confidential drop with attorney Catherine “Cat” Clark, discussing the big mistakes that divorce lawyers often make with real property and divorce documents, real estate law, and her incredible mentoring for Division I athletes!

Catherine Clark is an attorney with over 39 years of experience in Seattle practicing real estate, commercial litigation, and appeals. You can find her online, learn more about Cat, and get in touch here.

 

Things Business Owners & People Involved With Startups Need to Know

Don’t miss this Divorce Confidential drop with business attorney Keil Larsen, discussing things business owners and people involved with startups need to know, Keil’s non-traditional path to becoming a lawyer, and more.

Keil Larsen is an attorney and experienced businessman with a practice focused on working with entrepreneurs, start-up clients, protecting business and personal assets, and more. You can find out more about Keil and connect with him here.

Clearing Old Mistakes From Your Criminal Record

Don’t miss this Divorce Confidential drop with criminal defense and record clearing/expungement attorney Stefanie Dorn discussing clearing old mistakes from your criminal record, dealing with a criminal case and a family case at the same time, and other need to know info!

Stefanie Dorn is a criminal defense and criminal record conviction and expungement attorney in Seattle. She has been helping her clients clear their records to remove past mistakes and defend against criminal charges for over a decade. You can find out more about Stephanie and connect with her online here (attorneydorn.com).

The Kitchen Sink/Table Divorce”. Why DIY Divorce ISN’T the Smartest!

This week's pod talks about all 4 ways to approach a divorce, and why picking the right type of divorce is essential! It might seem like the amicable way to do it is to skip the attorney, save the money, and do it yourself is the best way. Think again...

Listen to Michelle and Amy's insight and learn why the DIY divorce might not end up being the best way to divorce, and why investing in your divorce is actually the wise way to handle divorce!

Consulting with a professional ensures that you understand what your options are and really decide what the fair division of assets (and debt) are for your divorce.

Why talking with a lender before your divorce settlement is finalized is essential!

Usually, lenders come on board after the divorce is finalized, limiting how a lender can help you when you are looking for the next steps in your real estate. Speaking with a lender before your final divorce settlement is beneficial.

Cindy Scobee, Loan Officer of Team Scobee with Evergreen Home Loans joined us today to talk about why talking with a lender before your divorce is finalized is so important. Too many people wait to evaluate their options until after they are divorced, and are not happy with the options they have. These outcomes are preventable, and just take conversations pre-divorce to set you up for success after your divorce is finalized.

Whether you plan to buy your partner out of the family home, sell the house, purchase a new home, all of these scenarios will require education from a lender to ensure that your divorce settlement sets you up for success post-divorce.

The truth is that most people don’t know what life looks like post-divorce and are scared to meet with professionals and end up with settlements that are not beneficial for them long-term post-divorce. They’re concerned that meeting with a lender or real estate agent means they must sell the house or will be forced down a path they’re not ready for. That’s not the case.

Your lender should also be willing to talk with your attorney. You deserve to have a team that works together on your behalf to make sure everyone is on the same page, advocating for the same outcome for you. Letting your lender know what’s going on is helpful, but the truth is that your home buying needs will be focused on you purchasing this home.

A lender will run your credit and talk with you about your income and determine what may prevent you from moving forward independently. You might need to figure out who’s responsible for what balance and who will assume which debt. Things like this will be taken back to your attorney to address these in the divorce settlement.

You’ll need to think of things like, “how do you qualify for a home if you don’t have income?” Maybe you’ll be receiving spousal maintenance or child support but don’t have employment income. These things need to be considered. If your attorney knows these things, they can advocate for you to ensure your income is such that you will be able to qualify indecently for a home after your divorce is finalized.

Your lender is there to educate you, talk about your options, and help to support you in moving forward. There is no commitment to having a conversation about what it will take for you to make the right decisions on your homeownership journey.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions and figure out the right settlement for you and your life post-divorce.

What is a CDFA and why you should get one in your divorce.

One of the most challenging aspects of divorce is finances. How much money is there? Who gets what? Who is responsible for paying for what both during and post-divorce? How do we split things fairly?

Most people have a deep concern for knowing that they will be okay after the divorce is over and they're on their own. This is where a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) comes in. A CDFA® professional can forecast the long-term effects of the settlement and help you put together a budget for 1, 5, 10, 20 years, and beyond to ensure that your divorce's financial outcome will help sustain and support each party through the divorce and beyond.

We were thrilled to have Kimberly Muska, CFP®, CPWA®, CDFA®, of Cascadia Collaborative Divorce on our podcast today to talk about the value of understanding your finances and leaning on a CDFA to ensure you're not leaving any money on the table.

Understanding what you have and your entire financial picture is imperative to do pre-divorce. This will help eliminate a lot of time spent during your divorce mediation. (And we all know--time equals money!)

Don't leave money on the table! A CDFA can work with you and your attorney to ensure that you will be okay post-divorce.

Pitfalls to Avoid During Divorce

Parenting plans and finances are the top reasons for conflict during divorce.

What happens if my ex drains our bank account?
What happens if my ex spends our money?
What if my ex shuts off my phone?
What if my ex doesn’t pay bills with my name on them?
What happens if my ex takes me off of our insurance premiums?

These are great questions and, sadly, things that come up every day! Listen to some crazy things that come up every day in divorce cases and how to protect yourself from these pitfalls!

Think not tying the knot protects you? Think again!

Unmarried relationships, aka a Committed Intimate Relationship (CIR), come with all sorts of consequences just like a traditional marriage. Community property, finances, parenting plans, all of it. Just because you tie the knot does not mean that what’s yours is yours and theirs is theirs.

Nowadays, more and more, people are opting not to get married. However, they are still opting to live together. Many people opt to have children before marriage or even live together indefinitely with or without having children and never intend to be married. So, what happens in this case? How do you protect yourself, your finances, and ensure that you are prepared for the day nobody wants or plans for—a break-up?

If you live in Washington State and are in a long-term relationship where you are living with your partner, it’s quite possible you are viewed as a CIR. Washington courts recognize CIRs and want to ensure you have equal rights and will likely be treated as a married couple if you ever part ways and have to go in front of the court during your breakup It’s likely that if your relationship ends, your assets and property will be split just like a traditional marriage. The same goes for 401ks, retirement, investments, and so on. It’s all on the table and all your assets are subject to division. Especially the property acquired during the relationship while the couple lives together.

It's important to know if you’re in what Washington law considers a CIR so that you know how to handle your finances and protect yourself just in case things don’t work out long-term.

If are an unmarried couple who have questions, reach out to us at Dellino Law Group in Seattle and Bellevue, Washington. We can help provide legal advice and answer your questions to ensure you are protected in your relationship.

How does your divorce impact your kids?

Let's face it, divorcing when you share children makes everything more complicated. Not just because of the logistical wishes, expectations, and agreements, but the heart component. Divorce is emotional enough for adults to wrap their heads and hearts around, let alone that idea of having to share with your children that the relationship is ending and everything they know is about to change. Queue the questions.

How do I tell my kids we're getting a divorce?

When do we tell the kids we're getting a divorce?

How much should I tell my kids about the divorce?

Should we wait to divorce until the kids are out of the house?

The truth is that kids want parents to stay together, even if the relationship isn't good. But that's not often the best or healthiest decision for you and your partner. Modeling a healthy relationship for your children is really important! If they see their parents fighting all of the time, that's how they will think relationships are supposed to go. Or maybe you don't fight, but you don't have any real connection or interaction. Do you want that for your kids in their future relationships?

The truth is that honesty is best, both with yourself and your children. It takes two to have a relationship, and if both parties aren't happy, it just won't work. When you decide to end your relationship or marriage, be honest with your kids. (But spare any icky details that might impact their impressions of a parent if that's the case.)

Remind your kids the divorce is between you and your partner. Your dedication is still to provide a loving and healthy home for your kids. You are there to answer their questions and support them through the transition. But remember, you cannot be everything to them. You might have to enlist the help of a therapist as an outlet as they process this change and the new chapter ahead.

At the end of it all, listen to your gut. If you and your partner are committed to what is in your child's best interest and keep them at the forefront of your minds, chances are it'll be ok. Hiccups will arise--take them one at a time. Divorce doesn't have to be hard or traumatizing; it can also be a beautiful story and a new and healthier beginning for everyone involved!